Everyone entering marriage expects it to last forever. Engaged or married, let’s explore ways a forever marriage can be possible.
“Forever Yours?” Let me count the ways:
1. Sex should be a priority.
This wife said making love with her husband just wasn’t one of her priorities:
I was too busy, too tired, and flat out didn’t have the desire. I had two little people calling my name all day, wiping their noses on my pants, and vying for their turn on my lap. …Sex wasn’t something I needed or wanted, so it wasn’t high on my list of priorities. ~Jill Eggleton Brett
Jill received sound advice from her pastor’s wife:
In Ephesians 5, the apostle Paul talks about the importance of putting our husband second only to God… if a wife becomes too consumed with the lives of her children, there won’t be much of a marriage left after they grow up and move away.
Sex within marriage is a gift. Not a chore.
Chris Taylor is asked often what she now knows about sex that she’d wished she understood earlier in her marriage. Her answer is always the same:
I wish I had understood the emotional aspect of sex for my husband.
Read her complete answer here.
2. Regular maintenance is required.
Maintenance is an important element of owning a car. Marriage maintenance is essential for a forever marriage. If you want to get the most out of every mile of married life, it is vital to keep up with routine check-ups and repairs.
Expect your marriage to be a nice long road trip with smooth stretches and unpaved areas, hills, curves, valleys, ditches and quite a few speed bumps and potholes. Every now and again you might need to fix the engine and find a good mechanic, but don’t forget to stop at the viewpoints, enjoy the scenery, pack good snacks and take a lot of pictures. ~Jeanne Faulkner
3. Communication is the #1 skill.
According to a study, spouses in happy marriages are six times more likely than those in unhappy marriages to agree that they are very satisfied with how they talk to each other.
These spouses are significantly more likely to feel understood by their partners, and they find it much easier to express their true feelings than their unhappy counterpoints do.
Rate how well you communicate:
- I am very satisfied with how we talk to each other.
- My partner understands how I feel.
- I find it easy to express my true feelings to my partner.
- My partner is a very good listener.
- My partner does not make comments that put me down.
Married for 65 years, Pat offers this advice:
Become friends first. Talk, talk. Listen, listen, really listen to each other.
4. Never say or think the “D” word .
The covenant of marriage is “till death do us part” and offers no escape clause. Using the word D-i-v-o-r-c-e is actually cursing your marriage. Read more here.
5. Stay humble and kind.
Our Facebook readers thought kindness is important in marriage.
Don’t let the little kindnesses slide and always think back to the reasons you joined yourself with this person til death do you part. Especially when it feels like things are coming apart at the seams. ~ Lisa
Louise brings up the point that we tend to treat guests kinder than we do our spouses.
Ask or say, Would you like a cup of coffee? Can I help you with that? How are you feeling? Thank you for helping me. You look very nice. It sounds cliché, but we talk to our friends like this, but don’t think it’s necessary to be polite and kind to our spouses.
Tim McGraw reminds us to always stay humble and kind.
6. Take advantage of premarital counseling.
Premarital counseling is a tool we believe every couple considering marriage should use. Counseling before marriage addresses topics you will face in marriage such as : Communication, Conflict resolution, Sexual intimacy, Parenting, Money Management, Family of origin.
Potential problems or warning signs may surface so they can be addressed before marriage.
Knowing that I was about to make one of the biggest decisions in my life, I knew we needed another pair of eyes, ears and hearts to walk us through our time of engagement. I was so captivated with my fiancé that Jesus was always standing in his shadow. Counseling helped me realize where the Lord wanted to take me, and it was not into marriage at that time or with that man. Counseling helped me put a new standard to who I will be saying ‘yes’ to in a future proposal. ~ “C”
See Part 1 to this post here .
We believe marriage is forever. Before saying “I Do,” understand what it really means.
I did, and I still do!
Image credit:Gabby Orcutt@unsplash.com