Am I Good Enough? Dismantling the Lie of Comparison

Am I Good Enough? Dismantling the Lie of Comparison

Our gender, age, culture, nor economic status can prevent us from falling for the same lie– I am not good enough. Comparison is a thief that tries to rob all of us.

Given my age and level of experience, when I share how I struggle with not feeling good enough with others, it becomes clear they feel this way, too.

When did you first start believing the lie I’m not good enough?

 For me, it began at birth. I was born two months prematurely. The only noticeable defect has been a bilateral hearing loss. Because I couldn’t hear certain decibels, hearing correct vowel and consonant enunciation affected my speech.

Shame affects everyone who feels different.  Childhood school mates are awfully cruel, so the effect of these wounds tends to stick with us.

With the blessing of hearing aids (I got my first set at the age of 38), I can hear and speak much clearer. But the shame and embarrassment of feeling different is a continuous journey of healing.

Comparison is a lie from satan.

Where comparison begins, contentment ends. ~ Craig Groeschel

If satan can get us to believe his lie that we aren’t good enough, then he wins his argument. His greatest ploy is to convince us we are never satisfied, never content, never good enough.

The Land of ER

One pastor  calls comparison the “Land of ER” There’s no win in this land of comparison.  Everyone just wants ER. Whatever someone else has, they want something with “ER.”

If I were Rich-ER

Pretti-ER

Thin-nER

Smart-ER

Healthi-ER

Fast-ER

Bold-Er

If my marriage was

Bet-tER

Happi-ER

Strong-ER

Comparison Focuses on the External

The reason Comparison doesn’t satisfy is because we are trying to find an external WIN for an internal longing. Our sin nature takes us away from the heart of God toward ourselves. No matter how much we accomplish EXTERNALLY, comparison tells us it’s never enough. I’m not enough.  ~ Groeschel

Faced with not feeling  good enough, we busily cover our insecurity by trying to prove, to achieve, to be the best. We go, go, go, and strive to be better.

If I accomplish this or look like that, then people will think I am good enough.

Comparison keeps us in a constant state of vigilance on how we compare to everyone else. We are so focused on ourselves and how we compare to others, that trying to keep up appearances gets exhausting.

The foundation of this lie? I do not accept myself as God does. I’d rather be someone else.

Dismantle the Lie

  1. Recognize God would never say you’re not good enough.

How do you differentiate between a lie or the truth?  It is a lie if it does not agree with God’s Word, His nature or His character.

God’s never looked in your mirror and wished He saw someone else. ~ Bob Goff

  1. Thank God for who you are, what you are, and where you are.

Until we can thank Him for this, our relationship with God will be shallow.

You are not a mistake. God lovingly formed you in your mother’s womb.

God’s fingerprints are all over you! You are uniquely one-of-a-kind. God created you for a specific purpose and you are the only one who can do that best.

The sure way to fail is to change the unchangeable. You can not change who you are. You are YOU! And you cannot be anyone else. ~ Jimmy Evans

  1. Receive God’s truth about who you are.

As part of our counseling ministry, Dennis and I pray with people who have agreed with lies such as I’m not good enough.

To break agreement with the lie I’m Not Good Enough, will you pray this prayer?

Lord, I thank You that You have made me in Your image.  Today, I confess the sin of believing the lies that distorts my Godly Identity and cause me to see myself as less than who I am in You.  I ask You to forgive me.  As You expose the enemy’s lies today, I choose to forgive all those who have spoken lies to me and have contributed to the ungodly ways I see myself.  I renounce the lies.  I break agreement with the enemy, and I choose to accept the truth about who I am.  In the precious Name of Jesus Christ I pray.  Amen

Now speak out loud:

  • I renounce and break agreement with the lie that I am not good enough.

Next, ask God, “Who do You say I am?”  Wait quietly until you hear what He says.

  • Now, boldly declare “I receive God’s truth that says I am ________.” (Isn’t it amazing what He says about us?)

Write God’s truth about who He says you are on a post-it or on your phone screen. When comparison tries to lie to you, boldly speak God’s truth of who He says you are. Continue doing this until the truth moves from your head to your heart.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.  ~ Romans 12:2 

If you have more lies you know you want to break agreement with, go through these 2 steps as much as you need to.

Who Does God say you are?

 In God’s eyes, no one or nothing can compare to the wonder and beauty of you—You are God’s fashioned-by-hand masterpiece.

You are enough;

You are loved; 

You are His.; 

Own that. ~ Bob Goff

P. S. Please comment below of who God says you are. Your willingness to share will be an encouragement to all of us.

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