I thought we communicated words of love and kindness.
Marriage Communication Discovery
This discovery has come to light by a recent job transition. My husband no longer leaves home to work offsite, but now works at home…. with me!
We are kinder and more loving toward others than we are to the one we married.
No kind words between us.
Quite rude and insensitive, actually.
Wow! I really feel the loooovvvvee.
Some days it seems we treat each other like enemies.
And oh! If looks could kill!
Ever heard the term “Killed by friendly fire?”
I could point my finger and tell Dennis all the ways I think he is unkind to me.
But the cold fact is this:
I solely am responsible for how I respond and speak to him.
Communication involves the interaction between two people.
Do your words communicate love to your spouse ?
Do they impart sensitivity?
Like a communicable disease, does your communication transmit hope?
I’m a far cry from the example of the Proverbs 31 woman whose “words are wise, and her tongue speaks the law of kindness.”
Marriage communication – acts of kindness
Random acts of kindness? How about daily, consistent, continuous actions of niceness – especially to the one you married and live with?
Want to become a wise woman who builds her house with kindness and thoughtfulness? Want to avoid being a foolish one who tears it down with her own hands (or actions)?
8 tips for consistent kind communication
1. Repent. Admit your wrong of speaking and acting unkindly.
Say “I’m sorry” first to God and then to your spouse. Psalm 51:10: Create in me a clean heart, O Lord, and renew a right spirit within me.
2. Search the scriptures using an online concordance tool such as www, biblegateway.com for key words: Kindness, Wise/Wisdom, Tongue, Anger, Words. Begin with the book of Proverbs.
3. Organize a list. Cut, paste and save these selected verses into a folder on your PC or preferred mobile device.
Personalize the verses by inserting personal pronouns (I, me, my). Prov. 12:18: “ I will not make cutting remarks, but since I am wise, will speak words that bring healing.”
4. Print out the list on several 3×5 cards, Post in prominent places (kitchen, bathroom mirror, car) to remind you of your quest.
5. Exercise your kindness muscle. Declare daily or as often as needed.
6. Speak words of common courtesy and manners.
“Thank you.” “Please.” “I’m sorry.” “You first. “Excuse me.” “Gesundheit.” My favorite — “Bless your heart”. *slow Southern drawl*
Marriage doesn’t excuse being ungracious.
7. Practice serving your spouse in everyday ways.
Ask if she’d like a drink of water, since you are getting a drink for yourself anyway.
Avoid flushing while he’s in the shower. (Or at least warn him!)
If you have time to do one of his designated household chores, do it for him.
That’s not a big thing.
It’s not about equal rights or equal opportunity.
It’s all about SERVING.
8. When you blow it, (and you certainly will), repeat step 1.
Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the mind and healing for the body (Proverbs 16:24)
Join me as we practice consistent kindness toward our spouses.
Practice kindness and niceness.
With practice comes fulfillment.
I didn’t say perfection.
Just like doctors practice medicine,
Couples practice marriage.
On one another!
Practice, practice, practice.
Maybe, just maybe, your spouse will FEEL the LOVE!♥
You are loved,