Shake it Up in Your Bedroom

Trick then Treat to Shake It Up in Your Bedroom

 Costumes and dress up aren’t just for Halloween.  Trick or treating isn’t only for this time of year. Or just for kids.  Fall is the perfect season to shake up the monotony of the same old, same old. Especially in your marriage bed.

C’mon, admit it. You love to dress up and pretend to be someone else, but think you’ve outgrown that childish behavior.

Don’t be so serious.

Are you ready for a challenge? Add some spice to your love life. 


Honey, your spouse would love to see you dressed up in a costume as the pretend  character you’re betraying.

In this case, tricking is acceptable.

Here is a chance to act in your very own lover’s play. You can write the script. Or have your spouse write one out. Or work on it together.

Go shopping together and pick out themed costumes. Think of the possibilities:

  • Hans Solo and Princess Leia (or any other Star Wars favs).
  • Pirates and damsels.
  • Police, firefighter, medical personnel and rescue victim.
  • French maid and butler.
  • Teacher and student.
  • Superman and Lois.
  • Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
  • Whatever your fancy.

Your marriage is a playground. The fence around the playground is the collection of guidelines that God has given us about sex. What happens on your marriage playground is about your choices and preferences as a couple. It’s perfectly safe and you can be sexual and have creative fun with your spouse. ~ Lori Byerly

In the book, Lovemaking by Dr. Dan and Linda Wilson, they say

There is no fear in talking about, dreaming about, or enjoying anything within the safe playground of marriage.

Inside the safe playground of marriage, do you have a fantasy you’d like to play out with your spouse?  I’m pretty sure your spouse has one he’d love to act out with you. Make it a point to talk with each other about your fantasies.

Sexual fantasies about your spouse

can add adventure and excitement to play in marriage. But fantasizing about others invites darkness into your union, bringing distrust and division to you and the one you love.  You and your mate must be sure your imaginings flow from the kingdom of light. In order to make sure this happens, ask the Holy Spirit for discernment to be sure any enticing fantasy is pleasing to God. ~The Wilsons

I like the Wilsons’ idea that there is great value in imagination inside the safe playground of marriage. The most satisfying sex is found fully within these holy boundaries. Holy will never involve mental involvement with another individual who is not your spouse.  Nor will it include actions that are painful, demeaning, or frightening.

Themed Foreplay

If you get tired of eating the same old food, stuck in a rut in everyday life, it is no different in the bedroom. Shake it up a bit.

The Generous Wife offers these ideas for sexual creativity:

  what you wear

what you do

where you get intimate

when you get intimate

With all the costumes and accessories available for Halloween, go ahead and browse for ideas. With wigs, makeup, and masks, you can completely play the trickster by completely disguising yourself. Practice foreign accents.

Put together a music playlist to go with the theme: search for themed movie soundtracks. And don’t forget to look for props. All in fun, of course.

Then treat.

Have your personal costume party—just the two of you—and frolic around in your marriage playground.

Dress up, play the role, and treat one another with the delights God so beautifully created just for the two of you.

Oh, how beautiful you are! How pleasing, my love, how full of delights!

When my lover looks at me, he is delighted with what he sees.

Trick. Then TREAT!

What is a movie, theme or song you think would be fun to act out with your spouse? 

If the idea of being this creative in the bedroom is uncomfortable, can you talk openly with your spouse about it?

God, You are the Master Creator. I ask for courage to be creative with my spouse within the boundaries you set for the playground of our marriage. Provide Spirit-led creativity and playful ideas. Give me the grace to be stretched! Amen.

Photo by Beth Teutschmann on Unsplash








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