Handling Marital Conflict With Matureity

What am I?

Arms flailing,  Fists clenched. Feet stomping.

Face contorted, flushed, red with rage.

Eyes narrowed, pupils dilated.

Brows wrinkled.

Mouth open. Growling. Baring teeth.

No, it’s not  angry Dr. Bruce Banner  turning into the monster temper tantrum known as the Hulk.

It’s a “fit.”

A conniption.

The kind we Southerners call a “hissy fit.”

Or  A FIT of Carnality, hysterically described by  the Cajun evangelist, Jesse Duplantis .

A grown-up throwing a temper tantrum.

Now that’s an oxymoron.

In our house, we call ‘em “meltdowns.”

And believe me, in over 40 years of marriage,  we’ve had a ton of ’em. Funny thing is, most of the time we can’t remember what conflict prompted the fit.

Marital Conflict?

Did you know a conniption is defined as  a fit of excitement or anger? What brings this kind of  fit into your marriage?

In the midst of such a tantrum, ever  thought to yourself (or about your spouse) this is so childish!

 Adults acting like small children who don’t get their way

Childish behavior.

 I want MY way, and because YOU won’t let me, I’ll just show YOU how I really feel!

And the fit begins.

When you rationally (ahem…maturely)  think about it,  most  marital conflict comes with this emotionally immature thinking.

Then we physically show our immaturity by displaying….

Childish behavior.  Not fully grown. Deficient in maturity.

No one ever admits they’re wrong half as loudly as they claim they’re right.   ~~~Posted by Profroche via Reddit

Just because you are  legally considered an adult at age 18, doesn’t guarantee  your actions and thoughts display it.

Measure of Maturity

When you don’t get your way, do you react or respond?

To show you the difference, consider what happens when you take medication.

  •  If you have a reaction, your body is in opposition to what is supposed to be helpful. That’s uncomfortable and sometimes serious.
  • But when your body responds favorably, improvement in your health is imminent.

Steps to MATURITY in Handling  Marital Conflict

My choices (good or bad) always impact my marriage.

  • Do my choices and priorities reflect maturity? How and what I spend money on. What I do with my time.  Paying more attention to my phone (and its texts) than to my spouse or children.

Accept what I cannot change.

  • Can’t change my spouse, sick or uncooperative children, uncontrollable circumstances, (like flat tires or broken household appliances).

Trust God with the rest.

Psalm 9:10 And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, For You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.

Understand that I am a work in progress.

  • Give yourself grace when you do have a fit, outburst, or full-blown meltdown. It’s hard being a grown-up ALL THE TIME.

Respect my spouse and myself enough to set healthy boundaries.

  • Agree on a time to talk when you can speak calmly and kindly about these boundaries.

Identify what I need to do.

  • You are not responsible for the maturity level of your spouse. In what ways do you need to change? How can you behave more like an adult?

Take one step forward, one day at a time.

  • Baby steps. Make one change at a time. Then take another baby step forward. Cross each step taken off your mental or written list.

Yes I can!  And Yes I will! change.

  •  I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who [a]infuses inner strength into me; I am [b]self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency] Phil. 4:13 

Be careful the next time you want to throw a fit.  You just might be called


 You are loved,


2 thoughts on “ACT YOUR AGE”

  1. Good word. I started reining in my fits, when I realized (with God’s help) that if I waited until the next morning… we could (usually) have a civil discussion. That also gives me time to cool off, to pray, to determine if it was even worth discussing and most of all… in the morning, we are refreshed, not worn down from a long day’s work and life’s other problems. This has been hard for me… “The Fix it NOW Gal,” but I’m learning! 😉 God bless.

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