Mama, what defines you? Who are you when what you are known for is stripped away? The thought “I’m not good enough” resonates with many of us. This lie doesn’t respect gender, ethnicity, economic status or age. But Mamas—mothers—tend to embrace this lie the most. Hear me, Mama, You Are Enough.
“You Are Not Enough” is a Lie
Thinking and feeling “I’m not enough” can look like–
- I’m not as good as her/him
- I don’t measure up
- I’m a failure
- I’m not a cool mom like _____.
- I’m not (creative, patient, fun, organized, intentional, etc.) enough
- I’m so messed up
- My kids are the way they are because of me
Mama, when a teacher, childcare provider or a playdate mom tells you something your child did wrong, how do you respond? Like me, you probably say, “I’m so sorry.” It’s crazy that we apologize for our child’s behavior or choices as if it is all our fault.
It doesn’t matter if our children are young or grown, feeling as if it is all our fault screams “You are a failure!”
Hear me, Mama:
YOU ARE NOT YOUR CHILD’S SIN.
Your child is the one who made the choice, not you!
I used to believe this. One of our children was one of “those” kids. (God definitely used this one to keep us humble.) I know for certain He used our child to develop this mom into a persistent, persevering prayer warrior. Oh how I dreaded parent-teacher conferences.
What hurt me the most was how (I perceived) other moms would try to make me feel I was doing it all wrong. Their critical, snarky comments and raised eyebrows blinded my self-value.
Mamas, our identity is wrapped around all the wrong things.
When the marriage is great, the kids are all good, and our house is clean (including the laundry), we feel good about ourselves. (And just how often does that happen?)
Yet when the poop hits the fan and chaos flies in every direction, we immediately fall into the mindset “I’m a horrible person! If I had it more together, everything would be perfect.”
Dennis and I recently saw the movie Overcomer. The scene when one of the main characters was asked “Who are you?” got my attention.
Who are you?
Why do we have a hard time telling someone who we are? I think that deep down, it’s because we don’t really know the answer.
Our world faces an identity crisis. Everyone wants to know “Who am I?” No surprise that Lauren Daigle ’s “You Say” is officially a number one crossover hit, making it the first song in history to have topped Billboard ’s AC and Christian Airplay charts.
Our culture wants to say our identity is in the titles behind our name (degree or job status), our financial status, or the roles we are known for (wife, mother, daughter). This is all temporary; they can change.
So, who are you when what you are known for is stripped away?
Somewhere in our childhood, we learn to wear masks. We became skilled chameleons, becoming what others expect us to be to fit in.
With that group of kids, we gotta be “cool.” At home we must obey and comply because our parents require it (but if they knew what I was really thinking…). In college or at work, we conform to roles we’re expected to perform.
It is exhausting.
If you knew the real me, you’d reject me is a cousin to the lie I’m not enough.
This wrong belief will haunt you until you know
WHO YOU ARE.
And before you can know that, you must first know
WHOSE YOU ARE.
What have you allowed to define you?
Mama, you are not–
- who your culture says you are
- who others say you are
- who your children’s choices say you are
- who your circumstances say you are
- who your title, role, or money say you are
You are who your Creator says you are. And the Creator gets to define His creation.
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don’t belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe …What You say of me
The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity. ~ Lauren Daigle
Mama, You. Are. Enough.
You are worth knowing WHO YOU ARE. Use the tips found in this 15-minute challenge to get alone with Jesus and hear how He defines you.
Ephesians chapters 1 and 2 are filled with identity truths of who God says we are. Check out Thirty-one Truths.
Revealing God’s Truth
You are a good mom.
You are appointed by God to be the mother your child needs.
God created you with the right personality, the right talents, and the exact ability to love your child well.
God has deliberately placed you to be His representative.
You have a unique calling and are commissioned by God to be your child’s mother.
Mama, You Are Enough.
Know other mamas who need this? Please share.