Tis the Season to Spice it Up

Want to find out what most turns your man on? Studies are revealing men are most aroused by a certain smell familiar this time of year. Add that to playing dress-up in the bedroom, and you’ve got a recipe that will spice up any marriage bed.

Most of us have our  favorite perfume or fragrance  Like most perfumes, they are all designed to appeal or to attract.

Throw away the perfume and go get some pumpkin pie.         ~Dr. Alan Hirsch

The smell drives men wild with desire, the researchers say.

Combine with the scent of lavender and you might have to reach for a bucket of cold water.

Spice with Eau de Pumpkin

The Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation of Chicago conducted a study “to investigate the impact of ambient olfactory stimuli upon sexual response in the human male.”

In other words, they wanted to know what smells turn a man on.
God created men to be visual, so who would have thunk the smell of pumpkin pie is an aphrodisiac?

It turns out the aroma of pumpkin gets a man’s blood rushing more than any other.

With the smell of pumpkin in the air, move on to the next spice:

Trick: Dress up with Costumes

Go shopping together and pick out themed costumes. Think of the possibilities: Pirates and damsels. Police, firefighter, medical staff and rescue victim. French maid and butler. Teacher and student. Superman and Lois. Use your God-given creative imagination….

There is no fear in talking about, dreaming about, or enjoying anything within the safe playground of marriage.  ~Dan and Linda Wilson 

Do you have a fantasy you’d like to play out with your husband?  I’m pretty sure he has one he’d love to act out with you. Talk with each other about your fantasies.

Sexual fantasies about your spouse can add adventure and excitement to play in marriage. But fantasizing about others invites darkness into your union, bringing distrust and division to you and the one you love.  You and your mate must be sure your imaginings flow from the kingdom of light. In order to make sure this happens, ask the Holy Spirit for discernment to be sure any enticing fantasy is pleasing to God.  ~ Wilson

I like their idea that there is great value in imagination inside the safe playground of marriage. The most satisfying sex is found fully within these holy boundaries.

Holy will never involve mental involvement with another individual who is not your spouse.  Nor will it include actions that are painful, demeaning, or frightening.

J. Parker from Hot, Holy and Humorous adds that  another reason to introduce a costume into your bedroom is that it might bring out the bolder side of you.

When you dress up, you feel a little more adventurous, a little more daring . . . and that can carry over into how you approach sex with your spouse. Showing your playful or seductive side with a costume can excite your own interest in sexual activity and/or give you a boost of sexual confidence when you see the happy expression on his face.

Be You-in-Costume

J. advises that while in costume, just BE YOU.

If you dress in costume or play a role, you should still be you with your spouse during sex. Sexual intimacy is about two unique people connecting physically and relationally. If you fantasize that you’re making love to the swashbuckler on your steamy romance novel cover, and not your husband, you’ve brought a third party (even in imagination) into your bedroom. Instead, spouses should keep their own identity. Be you-in-costume and interact as yourself.

With all the costumes and accessories available for Halloween, browse for ideas. With wigs, makeup, and masks, you can completely play the trickster by completely disguising yourself. Practice foreign accents.

Put together a music playlist to go with the theme: search for themed movie soundtracks. And don’t forget to look for props.


Have your personal costume party—just the two of you.  Dress up, play the role, and treat one another with the delights God so beautifully created just for the two of you.

Oh, how beautiful you are! How pleasing, my love, how full of delights!….When my lover looks at me, he is delighted with what he sees.

Serve with Pumpkin Cupcakes.?

Photo by Samantha Gades on Unsplash



  1. RM & R Weeks

    Well, I have to say I laughed so hard, this one is very interesting indeed! But Roger and I want to thank you for having the courage and sensitivity for addressing the issues the church won’t. Blessing and much love to you both. We love reading your blog together….

    1. Debbie

      Blessed that you read it as a couple. I have so much more I’d like to write about this subject…because you don’t hear it from the pulpit, yet it is so scriptural. (Pray for bold, raw courage and wisdom!)

  2. Bonny Logsdon Burns

    I love mixing science with spice! I had not heard that specific fact about pumpkin and men! Good to know. Yes, dress-up is very fun but keep it about the two of you, for sure. I really liked your suggestion of foreign accents. They are cheap and sure to make you laugh. Laughter is a wonderful aphrodisiac in my book. 🙂 Thank you for a very informative and inspiring post!

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