Watching Porn to Help Your Sex Life is a Bad Idea

Why Watching Porn to Help Your Sex Life is a BAD Idea

Wanting to add some spice and variety to your times of sexual intimacy is not a bad thing. But if you think watching porn together is how you can do it, I want to give you a STRONG warning here: DON’T GO THERE. Watching porn to help  your sex life is a BAD idea.

Why Watching Porn to Help your Sex Life is a Bad Idea

Known as the sexual version of a gateway drug, pornography is Satan’s lure to trap you into viewing counterfeit, unrealistic sex.  We coach couples whose marriages are damaged by it.

Some wives think if they watch porn to please their husbands, that it will improve their sex lives.  What they didn’t count on was becoming addicted to porn themselves.

Watching Porn Damages Your Sex Life

Watching porn , separately or together, damages your real-life sex for a number of reasons.

  1. People who watch porn regularly get used to the intense rush it creates
  2. It creates a fantasy of what people should look and act like (No human can go that long, look that perfect or be that aroused continually!)
  3. Introduces the idea that face-to-face monogamous sex is blah.

To keep our marriage coaching skills up-to-date, Dennis and I continually read books and take courses on marriage. Since we value and promote healthy sexual intimacy, we specifically hone in on this topic.

What concerns us is that some of the secular material we study highly encourage couples to watch porn together and fantasize about others while making love.

While headlines from popular internet news stories promote the benefits of watching porn together to spice up your sex life. science and research are proving that porn kills love, destroys intimacy, and can absolutely wreck your sex life.

An article posted by Fight the New Drug* shares what two respected pornography researchers found:

Consuming pornography makes many individuals less satisfied with their own partners’ physical appearance, sexual performance, sexual curiosity, and affection… over time, many porn users grow more callous toward females in general, less likely  to value monogamy and marriage, and more likely to develop distorted perceptions of sexuality.

Encouraging  Porn Use Contradicts Marriage Purity

Accepting the point of view that porn can spice up your marriage bed contradicts what Hebrews  13:4 says about keeping the marriage bed pure:

Honor the sanctity of marriage and keep your vows of purity to one another, for God will judge sexual immorality in any form, whether single or married.

I suspect everyone who marries has the desire to be fully known by the other. God’s purpose for creating marriage as stated in Genesis 2:24-25 is that the husband is united to his wife and they become one.  And in their nakedness, there is no shame.

If you are at a point in your marriage you think porn is just what your marriage needs, I’m brazenly saying there is a much deeper problem. While you crave to be fully known and one with your spouse,

porn is not the solution.

There’s a deeper longing that watching porn will not satisfy.  As Francis Chan says,
Our marriage problems are not really marriage problems. They are heart problems. They are God problems. Our lack of intimacy with God causes a void that we try to fill with the frailest of substitutes.

Help is Available

Wonder if you have a porn addiction? Take this free online assessment offered at Puredesire.org  This national organization also offers accountability groups for men (and their wives) and women who struggle with pornography.

An excellent video series we recommend for those struggling with pornography is Conqueror Series.  This is an excellent tool to watch with your spouse and teenage sons (or daughters).

I’ve learned far more about pornography than I care to know on the website Fight the Drug.  This organization exists to provide individuals the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding pornography.

Dennis and I began Make Us One based on John 17:21.  Our hope is that  every marriage will understand the meaning of one-flesh unity.  Being one with our spouse first begins with being one with God our Father. When we know we are fully known and loved by Him, that just spills over into our marriage.  Let us help.

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